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Bridging the Gaps II
June 25, 2004
Last time I wrote about
the effects of failure on our lives and how to bridge the gaps created
by our failures. Every circumstance is an opportunity to learn. Henry
Ford said that failure is merely the chance to begin better. When we
take that attitude, we can see the solution to our problems. If we cry
at the failures, sometimes it may cleanse our soul, but mostly it
merely clouds our vision. "Discouragement," François de
Fénelon said, "is simply the despair of wounded self-love." How
much do we love ourselves? Is our self love preventing us from seeing
clearly? Francis of Assisi prayed that he would seek to understand
others before seeking to be understood by them.
That attitude of
understanding applies to more than just people. In order to choose
wisely, we must understand first. The Book of Proverbs provides a
three-fold progression that begins with knowledge, moves through
understanding, and ends in wisdom. We get the facts accurately
(knowledge), we correctly interpret them (understanding), and we apply
them effectively (wisdom). When we have a gap to bridge, we must
understand the gap before we try to span it with our bridge. Questions
we might ask ourselves when creating a real bridge include these: How
deep is the canyon? How wide is the gap? How firm is the ground on the
edge of the cliffs? How long is this going to take? These are just
beginning questions but are quite necessary to properly create our
bridge. Similar questions apply to our failures: How bad is this
failure? How deeply am I in trouble? What do I have to do to get to the
other side? What help do I need from others? We must ask any questions
that will help us understand the failure. Once we understand it, we can
work on the bridge.
Our failure—whatever it
is, no matter how serious it is—doesn't have to be the end of the
story. Our attitudes will reflect whether we think it's the end of the
story. It's easy to think of our failure as if it's permanent, as if
it's part of our personal makeup: "I guess this is just the way I am. I
guess I just can't do it." But that's not necessarily true. Zig Ziglar
reminds that failure is an event, not a person. When we fail at
something, it's just something that happened, and it almost certainly
has a solution. We may have to change our person in order to solve the
problem, but we don't have to think of ourselves as if "failure" is
part of who we are, as if we were born with a trait called "failure."
There is a solution; we simply have to find it.
The first thing we can do
is adjust our mindset to the happiness setting. Happiness comes from
being thankful, no matter what happens. Instead of dwelling on what
went wrong, we should focus on how to make it right. Two words are
enough to change our entire attitude toward our failures. Smiley
Blanton said, "To be happy, drop the word 'if only' and substitute
instead the words 'next time.' " That's the attitude we need! If we
remember when we fail that there will be a "next time," then we already
have something to be thankful for. We need to cultivate our
thankfulness (how thankful we are) and our thanksgiving (how much we
express our thanks).
Thomas À Kempis
said, "Gather some profit to your soul wherever you are." No matter
what happens, we can benefit, if we choose to. We can reach the others
side of the canyon. Like Robert G. Allen, we need to learn to be
thankful, no matter what. He thought he'd lost everything, until he
realized he could have lost his wife, too. Then he understood, and was
thankful. He would have given up all that other stuff willingly in
order to save his wife. In his scenario, he didn't have that control,
though. God left him his wife and took everything else, but it could
have been the other way around. Be thankful and express that thanks, no
matter what.
With many blessings and
wishes for successful positive change,
Courtney Huntington
Founder
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